Yet Another Challenge

"Happiness is a lot like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth."

This is a quote I saw on a card. Do you know any other funny quotes?

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest"

This challenge is to get as many funny (clean) quotes as possible.

Are you up to the challenge?

Hmmm,

Are you?

~Agent P